Liar, Liar, Sex on Fire

-x-o-x-Accidentally in Love-x-o-x-

March passed in a blur of preparations for spring vacation trip to New York. I did manage to go out with Angela for St. Patrick’s day where, despite Edward’s complaint that it was un-Irish, we got shit faced drunk on kamikazes.

We drunk texted our men and acted silly, joking that we had to drink their share of alcohol too because they were both working. Garrett picked us up when he got off work around one in the morning. He helped me to the bedroom and left me with a bottle of water and some painkillers on the bedside table.

Edward had worked an overnight, and he came home only to have to hold my hair while I threw up over and over. It was actually kind of amazing because I knew how tired he was, but he didn’t complain once about having to stay awake. It was still our drink choice that he bitched about.

“This is because you didn’t take my advice.”
“If you’d stuck to whiskey you wouldn’t be feeling like this.”
“You’re almost a Cullen. That shit you were drinking last night is a crime on St. Paddy’s day.”

Finally, I looked at him over my shoulder as I wiped my mouth with the towel he’d gotten for me.

“I love you, but if you don’t shut up I’m going to turn around and puke on you.”

“I’m just saying,” he raised his hands and shrugged.

“I know what you’re just saying, but I drink vodka – not whiskey. If you were there, I might have had whiskey, but you weren’t.”

“Really? You’re going to make this about me not being there?”

He seemed upset all of the sudden, and I wasn’t sure what had happened. My brain was fuzzy, but my stomach had finally stopped churning. I pushed myself up from leaning against the toilet and put my back against the wall, trying to clear my head.


“I thought you were okay with it. I had to work.”

“Oh. Crap. That’s not what I meant. I know you had to work, I’m not upset about that. I’m not upset about anything. What I meant was, if you had been there, drinking whiskey, I may have been inclined to have some too, or to do a body shot of it off your fuckhot abs or something, but you weren’t there, and it was just me and Angela, who also likes vodka, so that’s what we drank.”

I ran a hand through my tangled hair and let my pounding head fall back against the cold tile. “And holy shit, we drank too much of it.”

“I have fuckhot abs?” He grinned and lifted his shirt to tease me with those same defined muscles.

I rolled my eyes, but it made my head hurt, so I ended up groaning and massaging my temples. He knew he looked good. Despite his crazy schedule, he always found time to run and go to the gym a couple times a week.

“Aw, baby,” he chuckled, scooting closer and pulling me into a hug. “Let’s get you some Gatorade and put you back to bed.”

“I only like the green kind,” I mumbled into his shoulder and let him pull me off the floor.

“I know.” He nodded and ran his thumb under my eye, probably wiping away some remaining eye-makeup from the night before. I had to look like absolute hell. “You should probably brush your teeth, but then the Gatorade will taste like shit.”

I ran my tongue over my front teeth, and they felt wooly and gross. “No choice.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead before moving towards the door.


“Yeah?” He paused and looked over his shoulder at me.

“Thank you. You’re pretty incredible, you know?”

“Nah, I just love you.”

He winked and closed the door behind him, leaving me grinning at nothing.

-x-o-x-Accidentally in Love-x-o-x-

The trip to New York was Alice’s idea, well, it was actually more of a demand. She had been complaining that I had very little concept of what it meant to have a wedding dress custom made, and she finally put her foot down, insisting that I come east for a fitting. Then she decided the trip also had to serve as a bachelorette weekend because Edward and I would only be in New York a few days before the wedding.

I understood where Alice was coming from. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to try on my dress because I did. I just wasn’t sure about going to New York without Edward. It was his place, or our place, but not mine. We hadn’t spent much time in the city on our previous trip, and I kind of wanted Edward to be the one to show me around.

I tried to explain it to Angela during lunch in my classroom, and she gave me the bitch brow.

“For real? Like, who are you? When did Bella Swan become so fucking codependent she can’t go to one of the greatest cities on the planet without her security blanket?”

I put my milk carton down on the table so quickly it splashed up out of the spout onto my hand. “Wow. Complete bitch much? That was harsh.”

She waved a carrot stick at me like she was some kind of diva. “You need a reality check, babe. I know you love Edward, and you want to be all coupley, but you’re still you, the girl who loves road trips and visiting new places. New York is the ultimate city to experience. Let’s do it!”

“Alice is going to have us on a schedule…”

“I’ll deal with Alice.” Her eyebrow raised again, but this time it was in challenge. “What do you say?”

It’s not like I could get out of it, and I didn’t truly want to. I just needed a push I guess, a reminder that despite all of the changes I was still, at the heart of it, me.

“I’m in.”

With Angela on board, we started to make plans and look at airfare. The next thing I knew, I was stomping around the kitchen bickering with Edward about his paying for the tickets.

“You’re being ridiculous. I can just put them on my credit card.” I forcefully closed the silverware drawer before taking our flatware and a basket of garlic bread to the table.

“It’s not ridiculous. I have a trust fund. I don’t use it often, but traveling is a pain in the ass and if we can afford to do it comfortably, why not?” He leaned against the counter, his hip cocked, his jeans slung low. He was carelessly sexy in the way that only men who really had no idea how sexy they were could pull off.

“Because I don’t need it. First class? It was nice, but Ang and I can just sit with everyone else in coach.”

“What if I had frequent flyer miles, would you let me use those?” He hopped up to sit on the counter and continued to watch as I flitted around the kitchen. “It’s basically the same thing.”

I rolled my eyes. He was so full of shit. “How exactly are flyer miles and your mad money the same?”

“That’s exactly how they’re the same, it’s mad money. I don’t use my grandparent’s money very often. I don’t count on it and live extravagantly. I just… occasionally indulge.”

I snorted as I dished up our plates of spaghetti and meatballs. “But you don’t inhale?”


He chuckled and slid off the counter, grabbed our plates before I could and carried them to the table. I picked up the wine instead, putting the glasses between my fingers and moving into the dining room. We took our seats and Edward poured the wine. The conversation drifted to our food and the Italian restaurant opening around the corner.

While we talked, my mind hashed over our petty argument. I didn’t want him to think I expected him to spend money on me. I knew he didn’t, not really, but I didn’t want him to ever get that impression. I thought about Christmas and Valentine’s Day, and I realized that he would never think that. He knew that it was the meaning behind things that were important to me and, in this case, he wanted me to be comfortable. He wanted to take care of me, and if I let myself be honest, I wanted that too.

We finished our meal and I studied my wine, slowly swirling it in my glass.

“Hypothetically,” I sighed, “if you had frequent flyer miles, I would agree to use them.”

He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Consider your flights booked.”

I didn’t realize he’d never actually admitted to having frequent flyer miles until I was sitting in the back of a town car with Alice and Angela in heavy New York City traffic.

“First class is the bomb!” Ang laughed and gave a fist pump to match her outdated phrase. “Thank God and baby Jesus he had those miles for us to use.”

“What mi-” Alice started, then stopped with her mouth open for a heartbeat before correcting herself. “That was so nice of him!”

That sneaky fucker. I laughed to myself. He didn’t have any miles. I should have known better. He hadn’t flown home more than a couple of times in the past few years. He couldn’t have earned enough points for a trip in coach class, let alone two in first class. I wasn’t mad, per say, but I was going to have to think about how to pay him back for his little omission.

“So, here’s the plan.” Alice tapped her phone a couple of times and scrolled through a few screens before grinning at us. “We’ll settle into the hotel tonight and grab some dinner. Dress fitting in the morning, a couple of spa treatments, then out on the town for the night to do bachelorette stuff. Another quick dress fitting before lunch, then-”

“Whoa!” Angela held up her hand and laughed. “Breathe, small one. I’ve never been to New York, is there some free time scheduled in there?”

“Um. Well. No, but… I mean.” She looked at me, dumbfounded and I burst out laughing.

“It’s okay, Alice. Ang, you don’t need to stick around for the fittings. I mean, I’d like you to come see the dress, but if you want to head out on your own you could just meet us at the spa or something. And you know what, I bet Rose would show you around a little.”

I could see the relief on Alice’s face. Rose had forwarded me an email outlining the schedule, and I knew things were fairly tight. I also knew that Angela wouldn’t survive for that long in a completely structured environment. That would have been like caging a wild animal.

Ang laughed loudly. “Rose and I on the loose in the city? That’s just asking for trouble. Will Edward loan us bail money?”

“I’m sure Emmett will keep you out of jail,” I laughed, and Alice nodded.

“Oh yeah! I totally forgot he’s a cop. Do you think he can tell me where to get some real handcuffs? Garrett and I-”

“Oh my God! Stop!” I interrupted, still laughing. I’d heard way too much about her sex life with Garrett on the flight from Seattle. “I’m maxed out on your TMI today!”

Alice shushed me with her hand. “Don’t be a prude, Bella! We’re going to the Pleasure Chest tomorrow night, so you better get over it!”

Fuck my life. I loved Edward’s family, but I so didn’t want to spend time at a sex shop with them. I could only imagine Wonder Vodka Woman waving around vibrators and squirting lube. It could be epic, or a complete catastrophe. I didn’t even want to think about it.

“Really?” Angela was almost excited as Alice. I might have to get drunk with Esme to endure it.

“Yes!” She glanced at me, hesitating for a second. “Well, I guess I can tell you. I mean, it’s tomorrow already, we all chipped in on a gift card so you can stock up on some goodies. We were going to go to the blowjob class, but we just don’t have enough time.”

“Bella doesn’t need a blowjob class.” Ang chuckled, waggling her eyebrows. “We’ve studied some porn.”

“Angela! You don’t tell people that!”

“Alice isn’t people!

“I’m so glad you came with her!” Alice laughed and patted Angela on the leg. I was mortified.

-x-o-x-Accidentally in Love-x-o-x-

My wedding dress was gorgeous. I stared in the mirror and considered how much it would stink if I kept it on until June, because I truly didn’t want to take it off. The beading that wrapped around my ribcage was gorgeous and had sapphire accents that highlighted the matching stones in my engagement ring.

I stood with my hand on my stomach, slighting turning my torso to watch the crystals and my ring glitter in the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” Esme whispered behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder at her and smiled. “I love it.”

“Of course you do!”

I turned so I could see the back of the dress again in one of the angled mirrors. I couldn’t believe how perfect it was. Every detail was spot on. It was exactly what I’d try to describe to Alice when we found the almost dress in Seattle. Small buttons ran the length of the zipper along my lower back. The beaded back had a thin diamond cut out just above the zipper which allowed you to see a peak of my pale skin. It was sexy but not overtly.

When I took my eyes away from my own reflection, I realized that Alice, Rose and Angela had all crowded into the dressing area with Esme and me. Ang and Alice were grinning like fools and Rose was wiping tears from her cheeks. Alice’s designer friend Alistair joined us with a flourish, waving his hands in front of his face, oohing and aahing. He proclaimed the dress the perfect style for me and set about pinning a couple of spots to be taken in.

Alice had been totally cool about Angela’s plan to sight see, and rescheduled her and Rose’s mani-pedi appointments for the following day. Esme, Alice and I, however, left her friend’s studio to be massaged, buffed, painted and curled.

When we were finished, I was thankful that Alice had arranged a car service to take us back to the hotel because I felt very underdressed in my casual jeans and sweater set. It didn’t go at all with the sleek and stylish hairdo or my dark, smokey eyes makeup. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t sure the dress I had packed for the evening would do my make-over justice. I should have known better than to worry though, as soon as we got to the hotel Alice started pulling designer dresses and matching shoes out of the closet and handing them out like candy.

Rose and Angela returned from their trek around the city and Alice gave them each a dress and shoes as well. The woman had some serious connections in fashion.

By the time we left for dinner, I felt like a different person. On top of the incredible hair and makeup I had going on, I wore a skintight black dress and a pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos that Alice said were mine to keep. Everyone else looked just as good, and we texted our significant others a couple of pictures before we headed out. Their responses were all very similar.

Fuck yeah, baby!
Gorgeous, as always, love.

We were a group of lucky women, that was for sure.

Dinner was at a pretentious restaurant Alice loved that served tiny food on giant plates. The food was gorgeous and delicious, but there wasn’t a lot of it. I texted a picture to Edward who responded with, Shake Shack is open til 12 xox

When Alice announced it was time to move on to our next location, Esme grabbed the tab and refused to let me see it. I could only imagine how expensive our meal was, but I’d had several cocktails at that point, and Angela was attempting to speak French to the waiter to hilarious results, so I got distracted. So distracted that I forgot what our second destination was.

“Oh fuck,” I muttered looking up at the neon sign.

“Did you think she was kidding?” Angela laughed.

“I was hoping?” I did not want to go inside. I wasn’t a prude, but no one should ever go to a sex shop with their soon to be mother-in-law, even if she was an alcohol infused super hero.

“Come on! Oh! And here’s your gift card!”

Alice handed it to me and followed Rose and Angela out of the car. The card had the amount $500 discreetly written on it in Sharpie marker. Holy shitballs. Five hundred dollars to spend at the sex shop? What the fuck was I going to buy?

“Oh honey, they’re got some great high end vibrators,” Esme laughed and patted my leg.

“I said that out loud?”

She smiled and nodded before leading me out of the car.

I was shocked at how fast I was able to spend the entire amount. Massage oil, honey dust, a satin blindfold, the Hitachi Magic Wand that I had been eyeing on the website, and a few other little things. It was liberating, mortifying, and exhilarating all at once. Or maybe I was just moving at warp speed because I needed more alcohol to blur the memories of seeing Esme purchasing a door jam sex sling. I had to put mine back after that. There was no way I was buying it with images of my soon-to-be in-laws fucking like rabbits.

When we loaded our purchases into the back of the hired car, and I heaved a sigh of releif that we were moving on to the next part of the evening. Alice told the driver the name of the bar we were headed to, and I fell a little in love with Rosalie thanks to her reaction.

“Fuck no! This is about Bella,” she leaned forward and gave the driver an address. “We’re not going to your fancy pants club, our girl just wants to chill and have some cocktails. Right?”

Angela gave her a high five while Alice pouted a little. “I thought it would be fun, different.”

“I know Alice,” I assured her with a nod.

“But you’re too sober, and I bought this deck of bachelorette Truth or Dare cards!” Angela laughed, then reached up and bumped the roof of the car with her palm several times as if to tell the driver to hurry. “Let’s move!”

Rose had the driver drop us off at a classy but laid back sports bar that she told us Emmett liked. The rest of the night was a hazy slideshow. A cocktail glass that never seemed to get empty. Dancing on a table with Angela and some random waitress. Esme and Rose doing body shots off of a hot young guy. Alice purposely spilling a glass of something on a mean girl who’d been giving us dirty looks. Rosalie taking every dare that Angela threw at her.

I woke on the bathroom floor next to Rosalie, who was asleep in the bathtub. I smelled coffee but couldn’t even think about moving to go find it. I groaned as I tried to sit up and woke Rose in the process.

“Fuck, girl, be quiet.”

“I wasn’t that loud,” I whined back.

“Oh, girls! You’re up!” Esme sang from the doorway when she saw us moving. How was she functioning? The woman had out drank all of us the night before. “I have coffee and some breakfast from room service. You’ll feel better when you get something in your stomachs.”

“I’ll feel better when I’m dead,” Angela groaned from somewhere behind her.

There was a loud thump and then Alice cried out. “Ow! Fuck!”

Rose started to laugh but stopped and grabbed at her head in pain. “Crap, that hurts. Did Alice fall out of bed?”

“No!” Alice called as Angela and Esme both said, “Yes!”

“Classic,” Rose chuckled. “Good times.”

I put my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees. It hadn’t been the typical bachelorette with strippers or penis necklaces, but I wouldn’t have wanted either of those. The fact was, our night was fun, and I had been able to bond a little more with Edward’s family. Despite how crazy they were sometimes, I was pretty sure they already thought of me as one of their own and, even with a raging hangover, that made me unbelievably happy.

-x-o-x-Accidentally in Love-x-o-x-


Shwooooooo. Big sigh. I have no idea why that chapter was so hard to pull out of my brain! It was fairly fluffy, but it took a lot out of me! I hope you enjoyed it! Back to Edward next update, he’s already whispering about what he wants to say.

Thanks so much for reading! The wedding is so close I can almost taste it!

Reading Recs:

I had a conversation on FB the other day about what fics you would read over and over. That’s a hard question for sure. But I’d have to say the fic I’ve re-read the most is Behind Enemy Lines by adorablecullens, which is unfortunately not on FFnet any longer, but if you poke around I’m sure you can find a PDF of it. (In fact, I Googled it just now and a couple copies come up…let me know if you’re desperate.) Here’s the summary: International aid worker Bella Swan enters a war zone to find the man she’s loved for the last 10 years. It’s a race against time to save Edward Cullen from the depths of an appalling humanitarian crisis and get him out from behind enemy lines.

I’ve also read Elemental by TallulahBelle quite a few times. I was really hesitant at first, because it’s so different – but then I fell in love with it. Hard. Summary: AU/AH: When the Swans return to their birthplace, Bella learns she is no ordinary teenager, and Forks is no ordinary town. Can she fulfill her destiny with the powerful Edward Cullen, or will the dark forces that threaten their families destroy them all?

Since BEL isn’t on FFnet, I’ll give you one more that I go back to repeatedly. Stay by CrimsonMarie this is a favorite actorward for me. He’s so down to earth and sweet! Summary: As an actor, Edward Cullen is surrounded by people that he couldn’t really care less about. What happens when he buys a house in the middle of nowhere and meets his new neighbors? AH, AU, ExB, rated M for future chapters and language.


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