Slippery When Wet



Sookie and I walked into Nobu in Malibu and were seated most graciously, and almost immediately. We looked over the menu while we waited for Lafayette, or Martini; I wasn’t quite sure who was coming to join us.

Sookie had spent most of the ride over talking about Chef Matsuhisa and how there were either Nobu or Matsuhisa restaurants in almost every major city in the world, except Chicago. She carried on about a sushi place she loved in Chicago called Oysy. She made a big deal out of pronouncing it, “oh-ee-she,” and explained that it meant delicious in Japanese. I nodded and smiled as I drove, trying not to laugh at how excited she got about food and restaurants. It was what she did after all. She had brought her camera and notebook to take notes so she could write about our dinner in her blog, and possibly for the Times.

I laughed out loud when she said, “I hope we see someone famous.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?”

“You know what I mean!”

I grabbed her hand and brought it to my mouth, kissing the back of it. She smiled at me from her seat, then intertwined her fingers with mine and held my hand the rest of the ride.

We’d only been waiting about five minutes when Lafayette breezed in and took a seat next to Sookie. He put an arm around her and pulled her in for a hug, kissing both cheeks. Then he sat back and grinned at me, raising one eyebrow to ask I wanted the next hug.

I kept a straight face, no pun intended, and simply said, “Good to see you, Lafayette.”

He laughed; it was loud and bordered on obnoxious. “You get used to me, baby. If you keepin’ Sookie, you stuck with me.”

Sookie took my hand over the table and smiled, “Every girl needs a gay bestie.”

“Well, then you’re all set,” I laughed.

She joined me laughing, and then patted my hand. “Aw. You get me. Bill never seemed understand.”

I smiled and hid my irritation at being compared to Bill. There were an infinite number of ways that I was superior to that douchebag.

Lafayette cracked up, and then he turned to Sookie and his face lost all expression. “You know what happens when you mention his name, right?”

“Laf, no,” she giggled.

He looked down his nose at her and waved a waiter over to the table. He ordered a round of sake and sent the waiter off before we could order anything else. I had to laugh, even though Sookie looked put out with him, her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were flashing. She’d been missing that for a few days, and I knew that the visit with Lafayette was already working its magic.

We ordered the chef’s special tasting menu for dinner and settled in to eat and catch up. Lafayette told great stories about Sookie and some of their escapades in years past. They had spent a lot of time together when Bill was in Dental School and Laf’s ex was studying for the Bar. When Sookie had introduced Laf to Amelia, it had been like throwing gas on a fire. The stories got crazier, and eventually my side hurt from laughing so hard. Laf knew how to tell the right mix of stories. He’d tell a couple tales that embarrassed Sookie, and then told one that was humiliating for himself before she got angry.

We were finishing dinner when he turned to Sookie with a grin that spread across his face. “Princess, you want to hear a funny story?”

Sookie was working on a good buzz but was trying to pace herself despite Laf’s constant refilling of her glass.

“I’d love to!” she said, leaning closer to her friend.

“Once ‘pon a time, in fairytale land, there was a bachelor party for a man named Sam Merlotte.”

I’d gotten really drunk that night, and I didn’t let that happen very often. Not anymore anyway; you never knew where photographers would be hiding. My stomach sank a little as Sookie actually clapped her hands together in glee. I tried to remember if there was anything really bad that had happened, or if it was just regular drunken revelry.

Her eyes sparkled at me from across the table. “This is going to be good!”

“Oh, this shiz is better than good. Big E, you want to tell the story?” He waited, as if I was going to volunteer to tell my own drunken tale. “Tha’s okay, sugar. You chime in when you feel like it.”

He told a very dramatic story about Sam and me doing body shots off a stripper. At one point, he tried to convince Sookie that the stripper was in drag.

“No!” she said, eyes wide.

Laf shrugged. “Not really, but I almos’ got you!”

Sookie burst out laughing, and he continued the story. I was barely listening, as I thought of ways that I could torture Sam for telling Laf about that night. Sookie giggled as he wound her up for the punch line.

“Then, and this is why I’m after Sam’s security tapes; I’ll share if they ever turn up. Pinky swear.” He took a dramatic pause, and I raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn’t that bad. It was funny, but not nearly as bad as it could have been. “Mr. Northman and Mr. Merlotte woke up with Mr. Sunshine. Because they was in nothin’ but birthday suits, stretched out like sexy kitty cats on lounge chairs by the pool.”

“Meow,” Sookie teased, making a sexy paw with her hand and scratching the air.

I shook my head at them and smiled. I realized that in some manner, this was Lafayette’s way of showing his approval of me, and I was glad, because he was right; I planned on keeping Sookie around.

A little while later, Lafayette excused himself for a moment while we were waiting for dessert, and Sookie moved to sit next to me. I put an arm around her and gave her a quick kiss.

“It’s been fun, Eric. Thanks for realizing I needed a bit of home.” She put her hand on my knee under the table, and I felt her fingers rubbing along my inner thigh. It was very distracting.

I tucked some hair behind her ear. “What about Lafayette and sushi is home?”

She snorted. “He’s been a part of my life for so long. It’s like Laf is the bridge between the pieces of my life. He doesn’t let me forget who I’ve been.”

“That’s a funny way to put it, seeing as he’s been trying to get you drunk since you mentioned Bill’s name.”

The corner of her mouth lifted. “He didn’t like me when I was with Bill. He’s been making me drink when I said his name for eleven years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She squeezed my leg lightly. “He was right.”

“What does he make you do when you say my name?”

She giggled and blushed. “You don’t want to know.”

Oh, hell yes I did. But Lafayette picked that time to return to the table.

“You won’t believe who I ran into! Mmm. She look good.”

“Who?” Sookie grinned.

“Ben and Jen! I don’t know who she got doin’ her hair, but she need to make sure she don’t get on they bad side. She droppin’ a wad of green for that fake natural thing she got goin’ on.”

“And how did Ben look?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Both Lafayette and Sookie’s eyes opened wide in delight. “Oh! Mr. Man, you stole her line!”

We all laughed, and I felt Sookie’s hand sliding up my thigh, it went just high enough to tease me and make me shift in my chair. Then she moved back over to her seat next to Lafayette, and the waiter served dessert.

We said goodbye to Lafayette in the foyer before venturing out into the parking lot; knowing that Ben and Jen were at the restaurant multiplied the paparazzi quota by thousands. Laf had just slipped out the door when I heard Ben call my name.

“Hey! We didn’t realize you were here!” He came over and shook my hand, and I heard Sookie and Jen exchanging pleasantries.

He invited me to a poker tournament and I heard Jen and Sookie making lunch plans. I smiled, glad that she was making friends and Ben laughed at me.

“Dude. You’ve got it bad.”

I shrugged. “You would know.”

He laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder as the four of us exited the restaurant together. The paparazzi descended on us, flashes bursting and voices shouting. Sookie grabbed my hand, and we split off towards the Vette. Ben and Jen made their way to a Mercedes SUV, and he gave me a wave as he crossed behind the car after helping Jen in.

I ducked into my seat and waited for the paparazzi cloud to clear before turning the car on and heading for home. Sookie was relatively quiet in the car. I had expected a few more giggles and a bit more forwardness from semi-drunk Sookie, but maybe sake was a different drunk for her.

When we walked in the house, I stopped in the kitchen to listen to my voice mails, since I’d kept my phone on vibrate all through dinner. I saw something sort of float by out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see my very naked girlfriend walking towards the sliding door. She slid the door open and stepped out into the pool area, glancing over her shoulder to look at me and biting her lip. I hung up the phone, voice mails forgotten, and stripped out of my clothes, following her like one of Pavlov’s dogs.

She dove in and swam the length of the pool. I was about to follow her lead and get into the water, when she climbed the stairs on the other end, water droplets sliding down her skin and the moonlight glinting off her hair. It was a beautiful sight, but it didn’t last, as she continued walking, and went through the sliding door that led to our bedroom.

I followed her, stepping into the room to see a very wet, very naked, Sookie stretched out on the sheets.

She grinned at me, her eyes sparkling. “You didn’t get wet.”

“I think I’ll focus on keeping you wet,” I said, climbing on the bed next to her.

She giggled, and reached out to touch my chest. My erection grazed her hip as I reached between her legs, ghosting the back of my hand up her thigh. Her skin was cool from the pool water, yet I was so close to her center that I could feel the heat radiating from the inside. She began kissing my chest, and I felt her pause as I slipped my finger between her folds, spreading the moisture that was already pooling there. She moaned quietly as my fingers stroked along her silky skin and continued kissing and caressing my chest.

I dipped two fingers inside her, pumping in and out, and her hips began to move in time with me, while I used my other hand to tweak her nipple, rolling it between my fingers and tugging gently. She bit her lip and gasped my name, and I knew that she wanted me to touch her clit, but I held off, continuing to stroke her with my fingers, reaching towards her g-spot. I waited until I felt her muscles start to spasm and tighten on my fingers, and then I used my thumb to circle her clit before pressing on it. Her back arched, and she cried out as her body squeezed me tight.

As she rode out the orgasm, I stroked myself quickly and aligned our bodies. I pushed into her, feeling her muscles continue to spasm as I stretched them. Her skin was flushed, and her breathing still heavy, but her eyes met mine and she whispered, “Please.”

I began to move my hips, stroking long and hard, and she arched to meet each thrust. We moved together, kissing and whispering our desires, “There. Faster. Kiss me. Now. Yes.” We were soaked from our sweat and her dip in the pool, and the headboard banged against the wall rhythmically.

“Oh God, Eric,” she cried out as I felt another orgasm tightening around me. “Right. Yes. There,” she trailed off as she went over the edge.

I reached between us and rubbed her clit, stretching out her pleasure as I pumped into her on the brink of my own release. She bit down on my shoulder, and I came, releasing into her. When I finished, I collapsed and rolled off of her, bringing her over with me so she was half on my chest.

My breathing was quick, and I ran my hands over her back. “God, I love having sex with you.”

She giggled, “That’s what you love about me?”

I laughed. “Yup. That’s it.” She smacked my chest. “Ouch. I’m kidding. But seriously, we have pretty amazing sex.”

She laughed and sat up, propping her head on her hand. “I’m glad you think so, too. I wasn’t sure if I thought it was so good because I was comparing it to married sex. Or if it was because it had been over a year since I’d had sex when we got together.”

I stretched my neck forward and kissed her. “Let’s just pretend that it’s the two of us together.”

She snorted. “Our combined skills.”

“Yes.” I grinned.

Her hand rubbed along my stomach, and she ran her fingers through the sparse hair. “You’re sweaty.”

“Or just wet since I got in bed with a water nymph.”

“Ha. You like me wet.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Of course I do, lover.”

She giggled again and surprised me as she stood, pulling on my hand. “Come on. Let’s skinny dip.”

Like I was going to say no.


The dinner with Lafayette had been what I needed to straighten things out in my head. I’d been feeling lonely, like I didn’t have anything that was mine here in California, but he reminded me that it wasn’t true. I had Laf, and most importantly, I had Eric. I hadn’t realized how much I needed the two of them to like each other, or at least get along, until I saw them together at dinner.

I can guarantee that Lafayette searched out a story about Eric from Sam to include in the embarrassing moments montage. Which meant that he’d already established that he approved of Eric, and that he thought of Eric as ‘his’ person too. Lafayette was a loyal friend who would protect you however he could. I’d seen both personae, Lafayette and Martini, when they got mad and hell hath no fury like a six foot tall drag queen. I was a little nervous for Sophie Anne if Lafayette ever got anywhere near her, that could be nasty cat fight.

The week before the premiere I started to feel a little antsy. I was nervous about making my first red carpet appearance, even if the premiere wasn’t officially red carpet. Aside from the ice cream binge I had after the Keira Knightly debacle, I’d been eating healthy and had actually lost some weight since moving to California, so luckily I wasn’t worried about fitting in my dress.

Daph and I went to the spa for manicures and pedicures, and then joined Jennifer Affleck for lunch. It was a relaxing day, and both ladies assured me that I would really just be Eric’s arm candy for the evening. It should have offended me, but I actually felt better. As long as I looked good and made him look good, I’d be fine. Lafayette didn’t trust me to do my hair and make up, so he was coming over in the afternoon to make me ‘bootiful,’ as he said.

I was generally well spoken, and I was a fan of the show, so I knew I could answer whatever questions the paparazzi or reporters threw at me. I wasn’t too worried about the Sophie Anne questions; there wasn’t much that they hadn’t tried to shock me with about that topic.

Jen and Daph laughed at me, saying that it sounded like I had everything together, and I just needed to relax. Daph completely embarrassed me, saying that Eric and I just needed to have crazy sex in the morning before we got ready and I’d be so blissed out that I wouldn’t be nervous, plus I’d have a big smile on my face for all of the pictures.

“Ohmygod. I can’t believe you said that!” I squealed.

They both laughed, and I was floored when Jen raised an eyebrow. “It’s not a bad idea really.”

We burst into giggles and drew the attention of the tables of around us. I wiped my eyes and thanked them. “I needed this ladies.”

I was struck by the thought that the two of them combined, might become my Amelia in California.


After much pestering, I broke down a few days before the premiere and told Eric to wear a red tie. I knew he had several, I’d seen them in his closet, and I had put off telling him what color to wear as long as I could.

“You’re wearing red, lover? You know I like the way you look in that color.”

“It’s not all red,” I teased, trying to be coy.

The day of the premiere, we had a mind blowing round of morning sex before Eric went to the gym; though I don’t know how he had the energy for it. I showered and shaved and then slathered myself with the Victoria’s Secret lotion that Eric liked.

I made pecan chicken salad for lunch and we ate by the pool when Eric got home. We chatted quietly and Eric’s cell phone rang. It was the Grateful Dead’sTruckin‘, and we grinned knowing it was Sven.

“What’s up?” Eric said as he answered.

I loved that he spoke to his brothers several times a month. Chris had called the week before to tell him that things were going well with Zaneta. They also talked about getting together over Labor Day, but it all depended on the filming schedule of Eric’s new movie.

Eric was smiling as he listened to Sven and laughed a bit. They talked quietly and I heard him tell Sven that I was fine, and that we were going to the premiere later. I went in side for a while, loading the dishwasher and cleaning up from lunch. When I went back onto the patio, I heard Eric tell Sven they would talk soon, and he ended the call.

He hung up and looked at me, shaking his head. “That kid is whipped. Do you know what he’s doing?”

“He bought shoes?”

“No,” he snorted. “He already did that. They’re buying a house.”

“Holy crap, Batman. That’s serious. They’re getting married.”

“That’s what I said! He didn’t say no. He said, ‘Not yet.'”

“Aw. That’s sweet. So wait, your broke brother is buying a house with his school teacher girlfriend?”

“I might be helping with the down payment.” He tried to look sheepish, but was most unsuccessful.

“Is that going to bother your dad? Because you know he’ll figure it out. It’s not like a plane ticket.”

He sighed. “We’ll find out, but I think he’ll be okay. He knows that I don’t throw money at people. Sven and I talked about how he can pay me back.”

“Hey,” I said quietly and climbed into his lap. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. It’s your money, and I like that you’re helping him out. All I’m saying is that it’s a very fatherly thing to do.”

“You think I should talk to dad about it?”

“I think maybe you should tell him Sven asked; but it’s your family.”

He laughed. “My mom already considers you her daughter-in-law. You know this, right?”

“Your mom is probably tracking my monthly cycle from afar to encourage us to have sex when I’m fertile.”

He opened his mouth, like he was going to deny it, and then he laughed. “Yeah. She probably is.”

The doorbell rang, and I knew that my Fairy Drag Queen had arrived. I kissed his forehead. “I love you. Even though your mom is crazy.”

“Thanks. I love you, too. I’m glad you can look past that little detail.”


I opened the door to find Martini dressed as Audrey Hepburn. The tiara, wig, sunglasses, and dress were classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

“Where’s your cigarette holder, Miss Golightly?”

She slid her sunglasses down her nose and looked over them at me. “That shiz bad for your skin.” She grinned. “Ready for bootification?”

“I am.”

“Do I get to touch him?”

“He said you can style his hair.”

“I love him.”

“I know, baby.” I patted her shoulder as she came past me into the house.

“Tell him not to -”

“Put any shit in his hair before your magic fingers touch it. I already told him.”

Martini kissed my cheeks, and we went back to the master suite to get ready. She styled my hair in long waves, giving it body and movement. As she applied my cosmetics, I felt the need to remind her several times that I wanted to look natural. She called Eric in and did his hair, mumbling about how unfair it was for him to be so beautiful.

Eric gave me a kiss, waggling his eyebrows at my silk robe, and I slapped his butt as he left the bathroom. He got dressed while Martini did a quick once over of my hair and make up. When we stepped into the bedroom I smelled Eric’s cologne, and it made me smile. Martini took a deep breath and looked at me like she’d been drugged.

“That man, is sex on a stick.”

I nodded and laughed, as I pulled the dress from the closet. After I’d steamed it, I’d made room in the closet and forbidden Eric from getting anything out until after I was dressed. I pulled on my garter and stockings. Martini insisted that I wear them, and I think I heard Eric agreeing from the dining room, or at least he would have if he knew the question. I stepped into the dress and zipped it as she held out my shoes. I slipped into them, and she fluffed my hair one last time before I headed down the hall to meet Eric.

I felt a little like Cinderella going to the ball, but I found my prince as soon as I stepped into the dining room. Eric looked gorgeous. He filled out his Tom Ford suit perfectly. Martini had pulled a camera from one of her bags and was snapping pictures of the two of us grinning like fools.

Eric stepped closer and ran the back of his hand along the neckline of my dress. I closed my eyes and sighed, my skin practically tingling under his touch.

“Sookie, you look beautiful,” he sighed. “Your dress is perfect. It’s vintage, isn’t it?”

I laughed. “Did she tell you?” I glanced at Martini, who was shaking her head no, and looking all kinds of impressed that Eric even knew the word vintage.

Eric winked. “I know things. Are you ready? The car is out front.” We were taking a chauffeured car so we could relax and not worry about driving home.

I looked back at Martini who was holding out my evening bag, which she had filled with the products I would need to freshen my make-up. I grabbed the beaded bag and looked back at Eric.

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Do you think they’re ready for me?”

He stepped closer to me and whispered in my ear, “They’ve never seen anything like you lover.”


I love Lafayette. Can you imagine this Laf with Amelia? I might have to write that outtake. LMAO.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! See ya next week – oh, and you know, review, please.

The Sushi restaurants in this chapter:


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